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We’d all wilt without will

We’d all wilt without will

When you think about it, it’s amazing how much of our life comes down to will.

The will to get up in the morning when all we want to do is roll over and grab more shuteye and dream they canceled Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

The will to go to bed at night when all we want to do is watch that game in overtime or catch a certain guest on a late-night talk show or – if you’re really nuts – balance your checkbook.

The will to avoid that last slice of cake or dish of ice cream or bottle of wine or vat of lard. It’s amazing how much of an iron will I have bypassing that last goodie.

The will to be nice to someone when all you want to do is take their head off and make a nifty centerpiece out of it.

The will to be take out the trash or cut the grass or grout the tile in the guest bathroom while Taylor Swift is singing karaoke in your family room.

The will to treat relatives no worse than prisoners of war.

The will to remain at least semi-interested in your job. Mondays and Fridays, of course, don’t hold you to the same rigid standard.

The will to decline dinner requests from friends who routinely sport spinach hanging like green draperies from their incisors.

The will to force yourself to vacation with your spouse’s family. Wouldn’t we all marry orphans – rich orphans – the next time around?

The will to refrain from snacking on success. Of course, failing to achieve success definitely saves some willpower.

The will to avoid bad habits of passion (gets easier with age).

The will not to play a game on your phone while a rampaging rhinoceros bears down on you.

Finally, the will to end a column when the punch lines have all the pop, crackle and snap of soggy Rice Krispies.