Skip to Content
Watch BCTV Now
/ Articles / Opinion /

Prince Harry-Meghan Markle wedding a royal pain

May 09, 2018 • by Mike Zielinski, Host of The Mike Zielinski Show
Mike Zielinski

So why do Americans care so much about the British royal family?

I just don’t see the logic behind this adoration.

Didn’t we once kick King George III out of the colonies during the Revolutionary War?

Apparently, we shouldn’t have gone to all that fuss because Americans have this endless fascination with the British royals even though they are merely ceremonial heads of state and don’t rule anybody.

The closest Queen Elizabeth gets to ruling is if she holds a ruler. And since I doubt she does much handyman work around Windsor Castle, that likely never happens.

Perhaps she has a ruler stashed away in her omnipresent purse.

Of course, if she had any real power, somebody would hold the purse for her. After all, she is 92 years old.

Now Americans are holding their breath and turning blue in the face over the upcoming nuptials between Prince Harry and American divorcee Meghan Markle.

By the way, why do British royals have a thing for divorced Americans?

Remember when King Edward VIII abdicated the throne to marry Wallis Simpson, who looked like a cross between a pickle and a prune?

Of course you don’t. It happened 81 years ago.

Americans went all gaga over the weddings of Charles and Diana and then William and Kate. But at least Charles and William may someday be king, unless Elizabeth turns out to be immortal.

But Harry, unless the remainder of the royal family gets wiped out by the plague, has no chance of becoming king.

If the British monarch is relatively irrelevant, what does that make a mere prince?

A drain on British taxpayers, that’s who.

Thank God George Washington turned down the chance to become King of America.

When Jack and Jackie Kennedy were in the White House, it was dubbed the Age of Camelot. That was our closest brush with royalty.

Now we have Donald Trump in the White House, uh, Mar-a-Lago. He desperately wants to be king. If you read his tweets, he’s the Mad King.

But I digress.

Back to Harry and Meghan’s May 19 nuptials. William Shakespeare, who was authentic British royalty in accomplishment if not bloodline, foreshadowed their wedding in his play Much Ado About Nothing.

We need your support!

Your contribution makes community media possible.

A donation of any size to your nonprofit media organization supports the future of media access in our community - the things you love, and the places you know, by the people you care about.

Watch BCTV Live