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There are robots – and then there are robots

There are robots – and then there are robots

From delivery drones to automated cars, robots are on the rise.

And that includes bots you can have sex with.

Many Hollywood blockbuster movies focus on Man vs. Machine.

With sex robots, Man and Machine make love, not war.

Sex, of course, preoccupies a lot of folks. Of course, without sex, there wouldn’t be a lot of folks.

As the porn industry has learned, there can be big money – even if it is dirty money – in sex.

Which is why there is a growing number of companies working to bring artificially intelligent sex dolls to the masses.

For most people, the mere thought of sex with a robot makes them shiver with revulsion, as if an alligator just crawled into their bed.

But evidently there are some people who wouldn’t consider themselves to be in an advanced state of moral decay if they are going steady with a sex robot.

I guess if someone is shy, having a sex robot for a mate might temporarily buoy them with peacock arrogance.

I imagine sex robots would make for unforgettable birthday or Christmas gifts but you would have to be careful who you give one to.

Your 97-year-old Uncle Harry likely would prefer a tie or two instead of a sex robot.

Your ancient Aunt Bertha probably would prefer a new walker.

And giving a sex robot for a wedding gift would be the ultimate in poor taste.

If sexualized robots ever become commonplace, that would have to ride in tandem with evolving societal attitudes, ethical implications and sociological concerns.

A study by The Foundation for Responsible Robotics (apparently funded and staffed by humans, not robots) reports that human professional sex workers, who could become an endangered species if sexbots catch on in mass numbers, report that high-paying clients often want to drink, socialize and do drugs together to form the pretense of a relationship in addition to having sex. 

So, the techies would have to double down on their homework and program sex robots into drinking and doping buddies as well.

Indeed, the report points to men who say they’ve formed emotional connections with inanimate dolls.

Some guys are weirder than robots, I guess.

There are moral repercussions to sexbots. Will sex with a robot be considered cheating by some uptight spouses? You bet your booty it will be.

If humanoid sex robots are based on pornographic representations of female anatomy, that objectifies women.

Granted, that goes both way. Sexbots modeled after muscular male anatomy objectify men. But men don’t seem to mind being objectified because we seldom are.

Sex robots likely will reinforce behaviors darker than the late Johnny Cash’s closet even if the bedroom lights are left on.

The authors of the report and the scholars they cite are fairly unified in the belief that the advent of sex robots may lead to greater social isolation.

One big factor: Sex robots are easy to have sex with, and people who use them could be put off by the additional communication and social interaction that goes into a traditional sexual experience.

They also express concern that sex robots could desensitize users to intimacy and empathy.

On the plus side, you don’t have to wine and dine your robotic lover only to strike out later because of a headache.

Then again, if your sexbot crashes because of a computer malfunction, you might as well crash, too.