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Frankenstorms doing the monster mash

Sep 11, 2017 • by Mike Zielinski, Host of The Mike Zielinski Show
Mike Zielinski

Perhaps we all should walk around in bubble wrap because there are all sorts of threats out there — North Korea, the Russians, terrorists, hackers, drug addiction and the weather.

Indeed, the latter may be the scariest of all.

Mother Nature at times is hardly as sweet as Little Red Riding Hood’s grandma.

It’s not even Halloween yet, but Mother Nature keeps serving up Frankenstorms, aka hurricanes, who toss structure onto the shoals of destruction.

Just look at the horrific havoc Harvey struck and then Irma pops up in all its wicked barbarity.

Just a hunch, but I suspect there will be more hurricanes coming in their wake and making mincemeat out of people’s serenity and property.

God, even Vincent Price and Alfred Hitchcock never concocted all this screaming horror.

This habitual hybrid weather monster makes us all sitting ducks quacking about the weather instead of the political circus.

Frankenstorms bring a natural horror show of high winds, heavy rains, extreme tides, storm surges and devastation.

An increase in the sea surface temperature riding in tandem with increased atmospheric water translates into stronger hurricanes.

You would have to think that global warming has a finger in all this. In fact, you’d have to be dumber than a single-celled organism to think otherwise.

Henceforth, I imagine everybody in the same time zone as a large body of water will be stocking up on flashlight batteries, generators, toilet paper, rosary beads and gallons of Jack Daniels.

So why can’t Hurricane Schwartz do something to stop hurricanes? Can’t the Channel 10 weatherman at least talk to them hurricane to hurricane?

Even when there aren’t hurricanes, it seems to always be raining. Grass this summer has been growing at record rates. Translating into too many hours of mowing and too many gallons of gasoline.

About 71 percent of Earth’s surface is water-covered and Mother Nature seems hell-bent for leather in swelling that percentage like a blowfish.

Perhaps the featured Halloween costume this year should be dressing up like a scuba diver.

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